tranquilities of explanation

Consistently I am attracted to all things truly beautiful. It is interesting to find peace in the most intricate details of life and how they blend into our everyday where we somehow forget to notice. We are busy busy and we never take a moment to stop, breathe, and absorb these tiny things.

It is the same way with art and vision and trying to find the meaning of what the artist has created. Often, I hear questions about why I do what I do and how I do what I do and I have to say really I don't know why the love of art my entire life has brought me to the forks in the road and the path's that I have chosen.

Why do I paint nudes? A beautiful and talented lady once told me that she understood my work and it made sense what I was painting. No one has ever taken the time to explain their thoughts to me about my own work and it was enlightening. It suddenly became clear and the clouds parted from the rainy sky and let the sun shine through (tee hee).

It is a vision of myself, trapped inside of my own soul and yearning to let go, and be free from all the mundane b.s. of my past. Some of my paintings reflect confidence whilst others reflect pain and heartache at the deepest part of my being. I honestly believe that it is my own way to heal through each brush stroke.

Each day I am grateful for the talent that I have been given. Each day I am ungrateful for the talent. I cuss at myself, throw canvas in the back of the room, crumple endless amounts of sketch books when I feel like my talent has just left my mind and my hand cannot draw, paint, etc. Some days you simply want to rid yourself of something so wonderful that has been given to you and just be normal (if there is actually a normal human being out there show me).

Then you have to remember you were given this for some reason and you must endure its silent torture and with each stroke of paint you show yourself to the world that you are human like the rest of the kindred spirits out there.

Each finished piece reflects a page of diary with or without explanation for the viewer to absorb.