Lost in Time....

Lot's going on ..... getting older, kids also getting older.... husband has been ill and well I just get through what I need to and will take care of myself later.

Isn't it funny that sometimes we lose track of our own age and don't realize how old we really are until one of our kiddos has a birthday?  My oldest turned 15 yesterday and my youngest is now 12 as of a few days before last night.  Both of my boys are almost exactly to the day 3 years apart from one another. Have heard a lot recently that when boys argue constantly and make us crazy when they are young, they often end up being super close as adults. Strange regardless. As an only child, I had made a ton of friends and it was nice to have that vs the sibling deal because if we got tired of one another, you could just be on your way and go home. So at times I have to think of siblings as if we were sharing one shirt and stuck with one another vs. being an only child. That seems to work well.

My Husband has been ill again for almost 2 months now. It is so very frustrating to feel like we are going through a de ja vu situation.  What is more frustrating is doctors and trying to fight for your spouse, their patient.  Over the last several years we have become great at reading doctors and how they are going to end up being in the long run of the situation. Honestly, Dr's, We have no time for b.s. or incorrect answers and guessing games. It is pretty bad that you end up challenging the doctors more and more these days.  We have had to research our own documents and look up answers to this, that and the other. It is highly frustrating simply due to the fact that these folks go to school for a LONG time to do the work they do and on top of that the residency that is also a must.  What's frustrating is that they should know the answer to the questions we ask or have the will to actually do their jobs and quit having tunnel vision or just turning into a moron. We don't have time for that and neither does any patient, EVER!! .... dammit! lol. 

My husbands cbc blood work comes back with elevations on a lot of the red blood cell groupings. the cardio and pulmonary both said oh that's nothing.  I don't think so. We need a Hematologist as well as an Endocrinologist to look at the blood as well as the hormones that the body needs. I think personally it is Adrenal and possibly something dealing with the Thyroid gland. But we shall see.

Keep us in your thoughts folks xoxox OH and if you have ideas on what other tests we should run or any ideas in general, contact me! Until then, hugs and kisses.

Kitty update

Dweezil has been back home for a couple of days now. Not completely himself but getting there. He is still a bit bloated and sluggish from the IV's and the force of food through them as well as getting him hydrated again. Thankfully it wasn't his kidney's. His liver enzymes were off a bit and he is now on medicated food for diabetic kitties. Doc said that hopefully will balance his glucose levels and if it doesn't we are looking at permanent treatment in the form of insulin injections for the rest of his life.



I could tell he was feeling a little better -- I went to check on him at my Mom & Aunt's and he came right up to me snuggling my leg. He didn't want to eat but eventually I talked him into it.

Keeping our fingers crossed.

The waiting game...

Been pretty stressed today with a lot going on with family.... My sweet little baby that I found almost ten years ago is sick. Unfortunately my ex has horrid allergies, etc; so my mom was willing to step up and take him and fell in love with him so now it is her baby. So happy that he was rescued. The cat was abused by the neighbors as we had seen them literally tossing the cat back and forth. After yelling at them the cat was able to get away. Within hours he was greeting me at my door step as I had just arrived back home. It was love at first sight. I knew if I hadn't taken him in he would have ended up road kill on a very busy road. He has always been the most loving cat always willing to snuggle up to you and talk to you.

Mr. Dweezil Zappa our wonderful loving tabby has been sick for the last couple of days. Took him to the vet tonight. He is very dehydrated and his kidneys are swollen. Completely hopeful that it is simply an infection or a minor obstruction and not renal failure, leukemia, etc; although the reality and signs are there that things may head down a different path as we are unsure if we are too late. My mom would simply be devastated as that is the little guy that has provided love to her for a long time during some pretty rough moments. It was hard checking in on him today. I didn't want to leave his side. He was pretty lethargic, wouldn't drink any water, had very bad breath and the second time I checked on him he was panting. Eventually he started purring for me, I guess to make me comfortable to let me know he was ok... or letting me think that anyway. Was able to get a conversation going with him for a few minutes before he threw up the empty contents of his stomach on my aunt's carpet. I just stayed with him and went back and forth between houses... checking on the kids..... checking on Dweezil...... repeat.... I brushed his thick fur gently letting him know he is loved talking to him and telling him he is ok and to get rest.

Fuck I hate losing pets. They are sometimes better than people. You can talk to them and they won't judge you, they simply vie for love. All they want is love, and food... and some catnip or treats once or twice a day doesn't hurt either. They are the peacemakers of this world. Even the "Marley's".

In this lifetime I have had some pretty amazing animals. Four Dogs, Eight Cats, One Conyour Parrot (which we later found out was actually a girl after many years of thinking it was a boy), Four Salamanders, a bat, a couple of turtles, many cockatoos, many finches, several frogs & toads, a ton of fish, one teddy bear hamster... um I think that's it. Each of these animals has been special and has had remarkable personalities and has left us with wonderful memories of each. I was Cindy Royal as a kid. :) Always taking in the sick, abused or abandoned without a second thought.

Not going to sleep well tonight..... ugh.

Father's day

It has been almost 8 years since my father passed; August 1, 2001. I will tell you it doesn't get better, and it doesn't get easier to lose a parent or someone close to you whom you love and adore. Even if it is expected. Unfortunately my father's passing was not expected and very sudden. When it is sudden you are left without closure or a sense that they are at peace.

The holidays are hard, birthday's are hard, not one day of it easy. As a very special lady told me once, "Eventually the waves of the ocean will calm the stormy waters in your heart". While the waves have calmed here and there; I still have bad days where there is a storm in my heart and mind. I figure that is me being selfish because I miss him.


Celebrate your Father this Sunday. Shower him with love and appreciation for being your dad. If you are on the outs send him a note with a card just to let him know you care (Remember, you are the better person, right?). If he is far away, call him just to say hi!


Miss ya Dad! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO