Lost in Time....

Lot's going on ..... getting older, kids also getting older.... husband has been ill and well I just get through what I need to and will take care of myself later.

Isn't it funny that sometimes we lose track of our own age and don't realize how old we really are until one of our kiddos has a birthday?  My oldest turned 15 yesterday and my youngest is now 12 as of a few days before last night.  Both of my boys are almost exactly to the day 3 years apart from one another. Have heard a lot recently that when boys argue constantly and make us crazy when they are young, they often end up being super close as adults. Strange regardless. As an only child, I had made a ton of friends and it was nice to have that vs the sibling deal because if we got tired of one another, you could just be on your way and go home. So at times I have to think of siblings as if we were sharing one shirt and stuck with one another vs. being an only child. That seems to work well.

My Husband has been ill again for almost 2 months now. It is so very frustrating to feel like we are going through a de ja vu situation.  What is more frustrating is doctors and trying to fight for your spouse, their patient.  Over the last several years we have become great at reading doctors and how they are going to end up being in the long run of the situation. Honestly, Dr's, We have no time for b.s. or incorrect answers and guessing games. It is pretty bad that you end up challenging the doctors more and more these days.  We have had to research our own documents and look up answers to this, that and the other. It is highly frustrating simply due to the fact that these folks go to school for a LONG time to do the work they do and on top of that the residency that is also a must.  What's frustrating is that they should know the answer to the questions we ask or have the will to actually do their jobs and quit having tunnel vision or just turning into a moron. We don't have time for that and neither does any patient, EVER!! .... dammit! lol. 

My husbands cbc blood work comes back with elevations on a lot of the red blood cell groupings. the cardio and pulmonary both said oh that's nothing.  I don't think so. We need a Hematologist as well as an Endocrinologist to look at the blood as well as the hormones that the body needs. I think personally it is Adrenal and possibly something dealing with the Thyroid gland. But we shall see.

Keep us in your thoughts folks xoxox OH and if you have ideas on what other tests we should run or any ideas in general, contact me! Until then, hugs and kisses.

Truly amazing

I am amazed at the audacity of some people out there. You work your ass off to make something real, something truly inspiring and it is simply stolen out of your hands as if you were a piece of trash just thrown out on the curb. It is like this folks... keep your friends close and your enemies closer because that is what it comes down to. I have given up on trusting folks because they will steal your ideas and try to make them their own. It is simply not worth it. So do your own thing make it known to the world that it is in fact YOURS and you will be successful.

Catching up with me

HI all!

So it has been a while. Been pretty busy with a ton of personal things happening. Found out I had some health issues that i needed to address so now I am getting back on track.

I realized I haven't been taking care of myself as much as I need to and have been overwhelmed with many things so my body has caught up with it and has given me warning signals to chill and take care of me.

Recently I resigned from the Gallery I have been with for 2 years, Soulard Art Market. It really is a great little place. If you have not checked it out you should, there is some great stuff in there! I left because I needed to move on and do more projects on my own. I haven't had time to rest in a long time with different projects it can become overwhelming.

We have struggled through some health issues and discovering new things and seeing what we can do to fix things.

Our chaos is always around us. we are still workin on the house as well as trying to organize our chaotic lives. The economy sucks for everyone. blah blah blah..

Recently I thought to myself hmm I definitely think that this economy is a good time to be an entrepreneur. There are a lot of opportunities if sought out in the right areas. With Art it truly is a luxury item for a lot of folks to purchase something like that as most work ranges from 10 bucks to several thousands.

I have thought for a long time that i would love to create something that is consumable and relatively cheap for people to buy while I can still be creative. So I have been developing a product line for beauty products that are all natural. I am truly excited about this opportunity and am currently seeking property -- like a small boutique to bring my products to the world. There are several lines of my products that i am currently brewing up. Also I am looking into other lines to bring to the boutique like natural make-up products. I will definitely keep you up to date on when that happens. I have found a few places that I would like to look at as I have a certain aesthetic that i am looking for in a boutique. Preferably a corner store with some great windows to display some of the products. Love the older buildings and architecture.

It has been nice to just do minor shows and get away from the craziness that is my life. My true reality is that i am always busy doing something for someone. so having some selfish time is good for everyone once in awhile.

So that is it for now folks :) Will hopefully update soon! xoxo

Updates and Happenings

The last month or so I have been absolutely swamped with everything. I have started working on my pieces for the Mad Art exhibition in July (July 10th, 2009). In previous posts I have mentioned this show coming up and that I am really excited and honored to be a part of it. Also showing is Aunia Kahn, which is one of my favorite artists and is a talented lady. Mad Art shows many artists throughout the year and the art is always a treat. Also the owner Ron Buchele (apologies for any mispell) will be exhibiting his work.

In general life takes you on journeys and path's that are unexpected, unplanned, unorganized into segments that you must fit into the fork in the road of life. My husbands Great-Grandmother passed this past Saturday at the ripe age of 87. She was such a wonderful lady. Always sassy and always telling it like it is. She will truly be missed.

Currently the show @ the SAM gallery is coming to a close this weekend -- Urban Awakening. Check it out if you haven't already. Deanna Chafin and Kate Poss did a great job putting the show together. The next show coming up is "Next Generation" which includes art from around the St. Louis area from students ages 14 through 19. Two of our resident artists whom are teachers are curating this show. We will be exhibiting 31+ artists.

Tomorrow I will be interviewing a couple of folks from Art Dimensions for the St. Louis Sinner on their new location on Cherokee. They are currently renovating the space for their opening coming up in the next few weeks. I am super excited about seeing the space and all they have done with it. This is the space that I wanted to rent out. Unfortunately in this economy loans are harder to come by as well as investors to follow through. It is a treat to know something creative is happening w/ the space as I had hoped. Yay!!

Currently the show "Fashion Interpreted" a the Flax Gallery a division of Art Dimensions has some fantastic pieces up. I am proud and quite honored to rec. best of show for my piece hanging in this exhibition. It is funny because this piece was done in a matter of a couple of hours and the work that I painted over was done over a course of a few weeks and I wasn't happy with it. This piece was actually a test for the work I am putting together for the Mad Art Show. The future work however will be a lot more rough and sketch like vs. the refined form here.


Also I just picked up a studio in the City (details to be announced later). So I can finally move my works and paint to the studio and not worry so much about space. I may just stop on down there tomorrow while I am in the area. The studio will also serve as a photo studio for Greg and I. Really exciting stuff I tell ya.


Anywho that is what is goin on. So I will hopefully be back soon w/ more updates. Stay tuned.

Recent thoughts

Hello all! It has been a little bit since my last post. Been a busy bee on top of being ill for the last month. Getting better :)

My last post was regarding a friend that had recently passed away. The situation was unexpected and still shocks me. It definitely hits the heart and soul deeply. She will be missed.

The SAM gallery recently had the traveling exhibition "The Sketchbook Project" hosted by Art House Coop of Atlanta, GA. We had a great turnout and I was amazed at how many people would love looking at these sketchbooks trying to figure out what the artist is really all about. It was also the premiere opening for "Rock Paint Scissors" Curated by Deanna Chafin with works by Bob Reuter, Julie Malone, and David Langley.

Bob Reuter's photography pieces were simply amazing. The subject matter was often rough, edgy, and theatrical in a way. They also were dramatic and darkly romantic. Each photograph left me wanting to know more about the person. I look forward to his future snapshots. Bob is also a Saint Louis native and takes pictures of the people that he meets in his course of life.

Julie Malone's new work is seriously leaving me in awe. Most people know I am not a huge fan of abstract. I appreciate the abstract work and the use of shapes and colors but just never found myself drawn to it as much as others. Maybe it is a realist perfectionist thing? I LOVED this woman's work. I generally paint nudes and most of them are female so I am drawn more towards roundness and circular shapes. Julie primarily paints square designs. Her use of color and the spatial techniques in placement of the squares and surrounding shapes were wonderful. I found different moods in each piece. The color was complimentary or contrasted well against each other to the point where I was in love. Julie is quite a personality as well!

Every time I have seen David Langley's work I find myself staring into the work, medium and subjects. The imagery is often from a time most of us do not know or remember. It faces a different mood between gender roles and the exploitation of retro pop culture. David puts a modern spin on these images and utilizes a collage approach in the work combining several images to create a story. Sometimes the subject is daring whilst the other's can amuse or humor me and draw me in to a piece to a wonderful puzzle known as Langley to many.

This exhibition will be open from March 10th through April 5th, 2009 at Soulard Art Market.

My plate is dripping

There are several things going on so I apologize that I have not had time to write the last few days. Along with the holidays I have been getting things together for shows coming up, trying to get myself back into the spirit of school (ergh), and keeping my mind amused. I have put in a deferment on my school loan so I can continue schooling. If I would have known that trying to get through the school headache is more about money than anything I would have not even bothered, it is always something. The academics are the easy part. Just ONE of my classes requires these two books that are going to run over 300 bucks -- people making these books are literally ripping us off! These are not antiques people!! I found them on Amazon for around the 300 bucks. If I want them sooner I will have to order them through school and that will run almost double. hmmm big choice there. STUPID CAD program!!

The holidays were and always are interesting. Our friend Cat joined us for Thanksgiving as her family is out of state so it was important to my husband and I that she not enjoy the lovely turkey day all to herself. We were all stuffed to the gills -- WAY too much food! I love turkey day! The only time of the year where I will literally pig out until I am almost sick. I hate Christmas food, just not the same. The day after shopping is equally exciting, that is if you have the money to spend. If not, it is enjoyable to read the shopping ads and make a wish list. Dam if that money tree could only grow! I have been waiting years and not even a root! ((snickers))...

Looking at the ads I was pretty disappointed and glad because the sales were not really all that spectacular. There were a couple things that were interesting but nevertheless -- BLAH!

So Black Friday came around and I tended the gallery for a few hours along with Genevieve and Deanna. Deanna's dog is so adorable and hilarious. Like a little doe frolicking through the gallery. Did I say Frolic? OH hells yes. There were several sales during the day and overall a great day.

The last few days I have not gotten much done in the way of what I need to so starting tomorrow it is time to get on the ball and get back to work. Naughti Gras has planning underway and there is still a lot to be done. tomorrow I will be calling several folks getting more sponsorship and getting information sent out.

I will be making some prints and I have to find my lino scraper so I can get my designs into the linoleum for printing. I already have a few lino's done but have LOTS more to do. I need to figure out mat board pricing locally and hurry up and pick up some as well as some acetate bags to package the stuff in. Is really frustrating as I hate waiting till the last minute but I get busy with different projects and it sits on the back burner. Somehow it always works out. I also need to print up my portfolio and put it together for the Last Minute Maul. I am horribly broke so it is important that I must sell as much as possible. I may throw in more commercial pieces just to make some cash which I hate doing but gotta make the bills. I specialize in nude work so I must step away from what I really love and just get it done. Lately it has been also tempting to get back into fashion design a bit, I did it years ago and loved it.

Other than the above I have been updating my retouch portfolio as I joined Model Mayhem a few days ago. Retouching photographs is fun for me and I really love seeing the end result. It is really fun when I can just play with it and put different objects in the composition. I love photoshop and illustrator. Corel I bought earlier this year and I prefer more to use the brushes in that program if I am trying to create certain effects. Photoshop will always be it. I totally blame my Grandfather for getting me hooked on it almost 13 year ago. With error comes perfection.




A few years ago I looked at the mayhem, but for whatever reason didn't bother to join as I already have memberships all over the place that I have been avoiding to update, ergh. Model Mayhem seems pretty good. There is literally a ton of talent on there. I was asked to model but I laughed as it has been almost 10 years and two kids later, and of course I am not Cindy Crawford, therefore I cannot afford a personal trainer or personal chef. It was very flattering I must say and did strike my thoughts but I realize I am getting too dam old to do those things anymore and I am not a size 6... anymore. Wish I was a size 6, but already I need to get rid of a LOT of clothes. A friend of mine who is skinny is getting all of my old sweaters and such that I probably won't be able to fit an arm into.

Ok enough of my rambling for the evening. Time to work.....

tranquilities of explanation

Consistently I am attracted to all things truly beautiful. It is interesting to find peace in the most intricate details of life and how they blend into our everyday where we somehow forget to notice. We are busy busy and we never take a moment to stop, breathe, and absorb these tiny things.

It is the same way with art and vision and trying to find the meaning of what the artist has created. Often, I hear questions about why I do what I do and how I do what I do and I have to say really I don't know why the love of art my entire life has brought me to the forks in the road and the path's that I have chosen.

Why do I paint nudes? A beautiful and talented lady once told me that she understood my work and it made sense what I was painting. No one has ever taken the time to explain their thoughts to me about my own work and it was enlightening. It suddenly became clear and the clouds parted from the rainy sky and let the sun shine through (tee hee).

It is a vision of myself, trapped inside of my own soul and yearning to let go, and be free from all the mundane b.s. of my past. Some of my paintings reflect confidence whilst others reflect pain and heartache at the deepest part of my being. I honestly believe that it is my own way to heal through each brush stroke.

Each day I am grateful for the talent that I have been given. Each day I am ungrateful for the talent. I cuss at myself, throw canvas in the back of the room, crumple endless amounts of sketch books when I feel like my talent has just left my mind and my hand cannot draw, paint, etc. Some days you simply want to rid yourself of something so wonderful that has been given to you and just be normal (if there is actually a normal human being out there show me).

Then you have to remember you were given this for some reason and you must endure its silent torture and with each stroke of paint you show yourself to the world that you are human like the rest of the kindred spirits out there.

Each finished piece reflects a page of diary with or without explanation for the viewer to absorb.

Time is turning

It was really a great day. We were at home with our youngest and had some issues today. Overall, he seemed pretty good. Phew!!! We have a counselor coming to the house a few times a week to evaluate our son for other things and to help us deal with him better.

There is a lot going on in our lives that seem to be really fantastic and for that I am thankful.

My husbands daughter stopped off tonight to see him and the boys. I love how my husbands eyes light up when he sees her. It is like a breath of life in him. Every time he sees her I see it. It is a great people watching moment.

I had tons to do today but family has come first.


Tomorrow will be a busy busy day!

okey kaybee

So finally I am writing my blog. Decided that after almost a year of having this thing that it is probably time to use it and make a good time of it. With my insomnia it may sound like a bitch session so beware; at the same time it may make you laugh.

We just moved recently and I don't remember ever being this exhausted in my life. The house needs a bit of tlc but overall it has great bones. Will be tearing apart a lot soon. Kitchens, bathrooms, and basements OH MY! OH MY, OH MY! I have my work cut out for me.

The kids love that they have their own rooms again. What I am more excited about is that we have a laundry chute. OMG! No more tumbling down the stairs or throwing baskets full of clothing down stairs just to watch it pop-out of the basket. hehe.

I am giving it about a month, maybe two before my youngest tries to put one of the cats down the chute. Only a matter of time.

____________________

So along with moving and trying to get settled in after the house is jam packed with boxes there is LOTS going on.

Recently the SAM Gallery celebrated their 1 year anniversary. This is so exciting that we have been open for a year now. The lovely creator of the SAM is moving back to Australia very soon. Kindof bummed and will miss Steve a lot. Really a nice guy. I know he is looking forward to getting home and back to a normal life.

Getting ready for some shows coming up. At the SAM, the $50 show has opened. I have a few pieces for the show already at the gallery and looking forward to them selling as it is time to clean house. There are some larger pieces in my gallery space that I am hoping a loft owner or someone with a larger home will purchase.